Warren James

Of all the things my eyes have seen, the best by far is you.

All these months of planning and preparation, of waiting and praying, of watching him grow inside me, and he is finally here. And its better than I ever could’ve imagined, sweeter than I ever could’ve dreamt, more beautiful than I could’ve ever thought.

Today marks one month with our sweet boy, Warren James!

It has been such an amazing few weeks with this little peanut and we are so excited to welcome home our second son. It is completely surreal to wrap my head around this life, this tough, amazing, tiring, exhilarating, emotional season we are in the thick of, and I am just so damn grateful.

I am so thankful for detours and redirection in life and a plan that is laid out for me, some plot lines unknown, because its truly better than I could’ve dreamed up myself.

We welcomed Leo Emerson nearly 2.5 years ago, unplanned and unexpected, but so very much welcomed.

And here we are blessed to be able to do it all again, and give these boys a best friend for life.

We started talking about another baby last summer and one hot July day, we decided it was time. We were so incredibly blessed that just ten days later, we saw two faint lines.
(Please don’t be fooled: every couple, every relationship, every story has its tough times, challenges, and points of contention. Getting pregnant is just not ours.)

From the very beginning, this pregnancy felt different. with Leo, I was sick multiple times a day, every day, for nearly six months. With this pregnancy, I was sick only once. I felt so different that I could’ve sworn it was a girl. We received our test results at week 9 after doing a blood test and headed to our favorite spot with the envelope. We had our first date at Roses, celebrated moving in together here, our engagement here, our gender reveal here for Leo. It was only fitting that we came back with the test results again. I was in disbelief when I read BOY and immediately I told Canan we’re going for 3! Looking back now, I can’t imagine anything other than our sweet baby boy and am so thankful I get to be mama to these amazing guys.

We started sharing the news with my family and our friends and to everyone around 16 weeks. We painted and decorated and built the nursery, and we prayed for the life this little boy would have. That he would know love and be love, that he would grow strong and courageous, and that he would live a life of adventure and purpose.

Our April due date came and went, just as it did for Leo. I was committed to a natural birth despite being offered induction at 39 weeks from my doctor. The days following our due date felt slow and monotonous, contractions starting but never quickening.

Until April 23.

I had a doctor’s appointment in the morning, and during the second non-stress test in as many days, my doctor came in to discuss our options. I was 4-5cm and 90% effaced for weeks, but labor was not happening. He suggested we schedule the induction and have the baby already. The nurse scheduled our induction for the following day at 4am, and I left the doctor to sit in my car and cry. I wanted to go into labor naturally so badly. I didn’t have any confidence in my ability to handle pitocin-infused contractions without an epidural and I was scared for the medical interventions that could lead to.

I called our doula and friend, Megan, who encouraged me to stick to the labor we envisioned. I knew then that I wasn’t going to show up to the hospital at 4am to be induced.

I went home to try to start labor naturally any way I could:
-Red Raspberry leaf tea (5 packs in one cup)
-Sex
-Eggplant Parmesan
-Pineapple
-Castor Oil (1 T mixed in with scrambled eggs and 1T mixed in with a smoothie)
-Jumping Jacks (honestly, I’m not sure here…just went for it.)
-Pedicure

I started feeling faint contractions, as I had every day for the past week. I started logging the times for them even though they didn’t hurt.
7:24 pm: the first painful contraction. Canan was dressed and heading out to his first softball game.
They kept coming.
7:26
7:31
7:37
7:40, 7:40
7:42
7:44
7:46 I called Canan to turn around and tell him I wanted to go to the hospital.
7:52 Canan arrived back home, had called me dad to come stay with Leo, and started packing the car
7:56 My dad arrives and we leave for the hospital
7:58 my water breaks in the car on the way to the hospital

A security guard came out to meet our car and offer a wheelchair, which I couldn’t even sit on because the baby was so low.
To offer a little comedic relief, as I was in the middle of laboring, one-cheeking it on the wheelchair, breathing hard and contracting on the way into triage, we passed the lobby where many couples were waiting for their hospital tour as first time parents. What a sight they got to see!

I was checked in triage shortly after 8pm at 6cm and told Canan immediately that I changed my mind and wanted an epidural. The contractions were coming every minute and were so fast and so intense, my body did not have time to adjust.

We were taken to a birthing room where the on-call doctor was paged. She came in and let us know that she had another patient ready to push but would check me first and see. She told us right away that its time to have this baby right now and with the help of Canan’s arm and many nurses, I started to push.

Warren James was welcomed into this world at 8:44 pm, before Canan’s first softball game was even done.

8lbs 4oz
20.5 inches
So sweet, so precious.

The births of these sweet boys are some of the best days of my life, and within it, some of my favorite moments. The first time they opened their eyes, the first feeding, the first yawn, and of course, seeing them with Canan for the first time. I’ve said it before, and it still holds true: Nothing could’ve prepared me for the instant love I had for my precious boy right after birth. But more than that, nothing could’ve prepared me for how much deeper in love I fell with Canan. Watching him hold our sons for the first time, misty-eyed, signing You Are My Sunshine, are moments I can’t give words to, and hope I will never forget. I imagine myself decades from now, staring toward the horizon, a slight smile coming over my well-storied face as I think of this moment, one that is only mine.

Warren James
Strong, steady, and sweet.
Named after two incredible men from our lives, whose stories we’ll pass along as we do our best to raise a man as incredible as them.